101 Goals in 1001 Days.

I came across this idea on a website and I thought it was really cool and worthwhile. Making a list of 101 goals to be completed over 1001 days (About 2 years and 9 months). 

*From this blog and also seems to be inspired by this day zero website.

The Mission:

Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as new year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Some common goal setting tips:
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.

2. Stay Focussed. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.

3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.

4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.

5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

Here is what I have so far. I will keep adding as I think of new things.

My Goals:

1. Do not go on the Internet for one week.

2. Use the Internet only an hour a day for one month. 

3. Graduate and receive my Bachelor's Degree from OU.

4. Write and publish a novel.

5. Collect 100 DVDs. (I now own 77, including TV series on DVD)

6. Get a famous writer or someone from a writing job to read/like my blog.

7. Get an apartment with Krissy.

8. Have 5 people recommend me a book and read them, no matter what they are. (0/5)

9. Go on a weekend camping/hiking trip.

10. Go to Disney Land in Florida. 

11. Visit Europe. (Spain, England, and France are my top places I want to go to.)

12. Do not buy anything for myself for one month besides needs (Try longer afterwards?).

13. Learn to tune a guitar.

14. Learn to play at least 3 songs on guitar.

15. Take a yoga class for at least a month.

16. Give up sweets for one month.

17. Really organize my clothes and sell the ones I rarely wear or don't need.

18. Run in a marathon. 

19. Participate in a walk, bike ride, or ride towards a cause. (Possible diabetes).

20. Write a song and have someone write music for it.

21. Climb a rock wall. 

22. Donate and plant a tree somewhere.

23. Sew a blanket for someone.

24. Visit Chicago and New York City.

25. See one of my favorite comedians live.

26. Mail a secret to PostSecret.

27. Put together and publish a book of 100 blogs I've written.

28. Swim with dolphins. 

29. Meet Will Ferrell. 

30. Work on the "Life List" of goals with Kevin... some are included in this list.

31. Identify 100 things that make me happy and post them where I will see them frequently.

32. Take a photography class.

33. Throw a summer BBQ party.

34. Have my palm read.

What I'm Lovin' Today!

Manicures.

I don't know about you, girls, but there is just something that feels so right about being pampered. What I am lovin' lately is a good manicure. Every once in a while I get one and it rocks. Okay, while I don't really enjoy barely understanding my asian manicurist or feeling kinda awkward as they rub my hands down... it definitely is a lazy person's fantasy. And my nails just look so much better than when I do them myself! 

These aren't my nails but Whitney from "The City" and I wish I was rockin' those leopard print ones...

What is your favorite way to feel pampered?

What I'm Lovin' Today!

Really cool desktop wallpapers. 

I've always been a sucker for true quotes that make you think and really beautiful pictures of people and nature. Well, if those two things had a baby... it would be these wallpapers for your computer. 

I go to this one from time to time and pick out a new one. Right now it's this one:

Pretty right? :) Let me know which one you pick if you love these too!

Be a Child at Heart

Remember when you were a little kid and another kid in your class came up to you and asked if you could be best friends? You said yes and bam, you were friends. You played tag with everyone in your class (except that kid that smelled) and always seemed to talk to some new kid everywhere you went, not even bothering to ask their name. 

I remembered this feeling when I took the girl I babysit for to the local Elementary School playground. Naturally, it was a nice day so all the kids piled outside... giving me funny looks I might add... but all playing together regardless. The girl I babysit for began just playing with the kids regardless that she was a lot smaller than them and obviously younger and I was so happy to see how several little girls would help her get down the slide and were smiling with joy. 

It just reminded me that we should never lose that. The capacity to make new friends with anyone so quickly... regardless of skin color, accent, clothes, whatever. And the ability to help others with a smile on your face and have fun doing so. Never be too snobby, too shy, or too busy to lend a helping hand to someone and don't be quick to judge someone. They might be a great new friend.

You're My Best Friend and I Love You

While interviewing my grandparents today on their marriage for a class project, I loved their answer to this question. I think they are right about a lot of people these days, they get married for every other reason besides true love and then just have an easy way out with divorce. 

While most of us reading this blog are definitely too young to get married, you can easily change the view to relationships. There are countless movies on this... the boy you always considered your best friend and then one day you realize he is the one. He's the one because he's your best friend. Love comes in many forms, a mother's touch, a friend's crying shoulder, or a passionate love affair. The most rare and the most special in my opinion is if you are lucky enough to fall in love with your best friend. This is the love that changes your life, changes your heart, and can open up your mind to the greatest things in life. All because someone smiles at you that way and understands everything about you. Someone you have tons in common with but enough difference to make things interesting. That connection is something to be cherished and I think the people lucky enough to find it should never take it for granted.

What do you think about love and marriage and divorce these days?

I'll leave you with a song by Weezer that goes along with this blog. :)

What I'm Lovin' Today!

Supernews.

Watch these videos. 

I was shown the "Twouble with Twitter" video in my class today and I thought it was hilarious... and true. Krissy and I have been watching some of the others, "The Hills Apocalypse", "Texting Your Way to Love" (New favorite word: Flrixting!), and "Social Networking Wars"... etc. 

Check 'em out, guarantee you'll have a laugh! If you're too lazy to search on the link I gave... here's one of the best ones we found. Enjoy! :)

Time.

Change Your Life in 30 Seconds.

Time. I am writing this as I'm listening to a time management lecture by Randy Pausch, the guy who essentially wrote "The Last Lecture" (Jeff Zaslow really wrote it, but it was based on the lecture by Randy Pausch). Great book... I definitely recommend it. Anyways, time. Time is ticking by right now. Sometimes it goes by so fast and sometimes it feels so slow. Why is that?

I also love the book Stargirl and Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. In Stargirl, there is this quote that always stuck with me...

“Nobody has the time. The time cannot be owned. Time is free to everyone!”

(While looking for this quote, I came across this blog which I found really interesting. Check it out as I will later....)

If you really think about it, time is the one thing we have that is always free. Always there. Never stops and always keeps going. Whether you want it to go slower, or faster, need more... it remains the same. At the same time, we don't know how much of it we will have in our lives. Even if you receive a death sentence, a doctor cannot tell you the specific day in which you will die and your time here will cease. 

Here are the most important things in life I think we need to remember related to time:

• Get organized. Okay, okay, I do work at a place called Organize-It, I've compulsively made my bed every day since I was 5 years old, and everyone knows how neat I am. But still, I think it is important to everyone. Think about a time when you couldn't do something because you couldn't find it. I strongly believe you will get a lot more work done if you just take the time to put things in order first.
  

• Get the bad stuff done before you can get on to the fun. Okay, I am definitely bad at this one sometimes. Jot down a to-do list and get done that dreaded homework, head off to work, or clean your room before you can go out and do the thing you want to do. Guarantee you might have more time to do the thing you like if you get the other stuff done first.

• Think about what you're doing right now. Surfing the web mindlessly? Watching TV? Anything else you could be doing that would be more productive or more satisfying? I strongly believe you need your downtime to do nothing and chill out, but I know I spend more time doing those things than I really need to. 

• Don't waste time being angry. Get angry, yell, cry, fight, and get over it. I think a lot of people waste time being mad at someone they love for stupid reasons. Argue and fix it. Spend lots of loving time with the people you love. You don't know how long you might have with them.
  

• "Failing to plan is planning to fail." Plan your day, plan your life, and plan to leave room for days or minutes when you have nothing at all planned to do. 
  

I'll end on a quote by the late, great Benjamin Franklin.

"Dost thou love life? Then waste not time; for time is the stuff that life is made of."

What I'm Lovin' Today!

Cool T-Shirts.

Friend of mine from high school has this site.... he designs the T-shirts and sells them. He's a great artist and they are super cool. There are ones for boys and girls and different designs that anyone would like!

So check it out. :) Here are some of my favorites:

Prayers for our Military

This past week I have been thinking a lot about our military. Given the fact I have never had a family member or someone close to me in the army around these times, or knew anyone in the September 11th tragedy, or been affected personally by the war in Iraq... I have never really thought much about it. I support our troops and my country, but it is not something that moves me to tears, until recently. Watching Ryan on the Real World talk about the effects the war has had on him and the pain he feels knowing he has to go back (in April, God bless you Ryan) and hearing that a friend from high school just went off to Afghanistan, it makes my heart hurt.

I think of all the military wives and loved ones who go through each day wondering if their soldier will come home. If he is getting enough to eat, if he has to kill someone, if he will be hurt. I can't imagine feeling that way. So often do we think of the soldiers and praise them for their duties, but shouldn't we also be praising the ones they leave behind? The ones that worry constantly. The ones that might have everything to lose. 

So I pray that our military get through this. I thank them for their protection. I hope they come home soon to see their families and friends. And most of all I hope we can leave this war soon without any harm to all of us in the U.S.A. 

http://www.iraqwarveterans.org/

Recap of the Real World Epsiode

What I'm Lovin' Today!

I love this song. Not only am I country music lovin' girl (and let me say music rocks, give me rock, country, pop, pretty much anything!) but I love songs like this with such a great message. About livin' it up and not needing much to be happy. 

It's the little things in life that mean the most, not where you live, what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes. There's not dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know.

I think we forget this. 

So I started a list of the little things in life that I love. 

Stupid jokes on popcicle sticks. Example: What did the hungry computer say? I could sure go for a byte!

The way everyone's laugh sounds different.

How I feel after a really good, introspective movie.

Driving in your car on a warm day, windows down, sunglasses on, and then a good song comes on the radio. 

Hugging someone you haven't seen in a while and missed.

When my dog greets me at the door, tail waging like we are long lost buddies.

Tell me what some of your favorite "little things" are.

 A picture of that crazy hound... for some reason she was sitting in between the couches?

Once in a Lifetime Friendship

Friendship. Some friends come in to our lives for a short time, like that friend that you met in Biology class and helped to make that awful class somewhat enjoyable and you haven't talked to them since. Or the friend that you loved to hang out with in high school and now rarely see during college years. Then there are friends we hold on to, we still keep in touch even if they are far away or the friends we may see every day or every week. We laugh with these friends, maybe cry, learn life lessons with, and can talk about just about anything with. And then... there are the friends that are more like sisters. Maybe you grew up together, hung out every day, shared countless secrets, had many pointless fights, but all in all have shared millions of laughs and tears. Some of your fondest memories come from being with this friend. Mine is Tiffany. We became friends in Elementary school and I remember her being the slightly popular, definitely more outgoing girl who befriended me, a shy, goofy kid. I remember her jokes at recess, especially during a cold winter month... "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Lettuce." "Lettuce who?" "Lettuce in please, it's cold out here!" I remember pretending we were runaway girls riding the train that was my swing-set and grinding stones to pretend we were Indians making supper. I remember moving on to middle school.... notes during class, sleepovers, pranks, stupid fights that never lasted more than a day, crushes, and simply trying to survive together our awkward middle school years. When high school came, a big change was ahead of us. Tiffany was moving. I remember riding my bike past her house after she had left it, tears streaming down my face, wondering what I would do without my constant companion who lived just several blocks over. Looking back, I see the reason this change had for us. For me, it caused me to get out of my shell a bit more and stand on my own two feet. I made many friends I wonder if I would have made if she had always been with me. I see how different we were at times and how annoyed we got with each other and know that perhaps if we had stayed in the same vicinity, things might have turned out different and for the worst. By being apart, we grew up. We stayed close. With high school behind us, college in the works, and having not lived in the same city since we were 14... I still consider her my sister. If we still can say these wonderful things now and have an incredible time when we do get to see each other, I know it is a bond that will last through anything. I hope to one day live near each other again and I believe at some point we will. Maybe it won't be until we graduate college, or have settled down and our kids play together, or when we have grown gray with age. But someday... I'll be able to walk down the street and see my bffaeitwww. :)

What I'm Lovin' Today!

One word: CollegeCandy.com

So ever since I discovered this website by looking at what the people in my class were doing on the computers before we actually started class... I've been hooked. I was first intrigued by the name, College Candy? And the trademark kiss. 

And when I started looking I loved it more. Specifically for the college girl, it gives articles and tips on boys, fashion, beauty, pop culture... pretty much anything your average college girl wants to hear about or wants to know more on. I really like the "Candy Dish" which features links to random news that's going on that day. Another reason I love it... most articles are funny. Being a girl addicted to the latest Judd Apatow film, I can't get enough humor in my life! Especially if it throws in a few hints on how to unlock the male psyche. ;)

Another big plus, I threw them a comment and the actual managing editor e-mailed me back within about a half an hour. Sweet!

And fingers crossed, I might be featured on there for a college blogger shout-out! So keep lookin' for me... :)

XOXO.

What I'm Lovin' Today!

Starting something new. Gonna try and post every day or every few days... things I'm lovin'. Whether it is music, news, whatever. Keep coming back to see what I love next time. :)

There are two things I'm lovin' today. They have absolutely nothing to do with each other, but who cares?

First things first. I love Amazon.com! Not only do I buy things from there (Hello book I want at the bookstore, hello 

Amazon.com for half the price!) but I have been selling things as well. 

Check out my store & see if any of my trash can become your treasure. :)

Second thing I'm lovin'... "Marley & Me". I just FINALLY finished that book and let me say... I bawled my eyes out at the end. Being a dog lover, I definitely wanted to see what all the buzz on this book was about. I was hooked with Marley's crazy antics and the heart-warming tales of the Grogan family. But as you keep reading, you find out it is not only a book on a crazy dog and the people who love him, but a story on life and how to keep living each day essentially as if it were your last. Grogan writes in one of my favorite passages, "I could almost taste the finiteness of life and thus its preciousness. We take it for granted, but it is fragile, precarious, uncertain, able to cease at any instant without notice. I was reminded of what should be obvious but too often is not, that each day, each hour and minute, is worth cherishing". It inspired me. It made me think of my own dumb dog, what a pain in the ass she is but how lovable and sweet and funny she is as well. So, if you have a pet... go give them a big hug and then go out and live. Because most dogs only get about 13 years or less and who knows how long you'll get.

What I'm Loving Today!

Starting something new. Gonna try and post every day or every few days... things I'm lovin'. Whether it is music, news, whatever. Keep coming back to see what I love next time. :)

 

Let me just say how much I love rap covers by rock bands. Being a huge Fray fan, I was definitely impressed by this cover. Also lovin' Framing Hanley's "Lollipop". Also, if you love the Fray check out them doing a cover of Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie"... they played it at the concert I went to and it is HILARIOUS. 

Addicted to Shopping

So I now realize what I should have given up for Lent and really tried to stick to it... shopping. While I am definitely not nearly as bad as that girl from Confessions of a Shopaholic... Prada? No thanks. 12 credit cards? Heck no. And mannequins sure do not talk to me and persuade me to buy scarves. But... I just found myself coming home from Target with a shirt, lip gloss, and a vanilla bean frappucino, all of which I definitely do not need. Why did I go to Target? I was bored and didn't feel like sitting around my house. If you really think about it, I do this a lot and I think most people do. When you are bored... you go to a place with a bunch of annoying people to stare at products that you don't need that you can and probably will purchase? While perusing a book store is a bit different... anything else really sounds silly. I also find myself buying things on Amazon.com or I-tunes songs... ugh.

Why do we feel like we need to buy things to be happy? We have probably heard a million times and even realize that most things (outside of a home, food, things we need) do not make us any happier. It is the interaction with others, the quiet solitude of being in nature, things that we cannot buy with cash or a credit card are the things that make us the happiest and fulfill us in life. Not saying some things don't make us happy because I don't know how happy I would be without my cell phone or a good book. But do we really need everything we have?

So I know from now on I think I am going to challenge my spending and shopping habits. Instead of going shopping with a friend, I think I'll suggest something else to do. Even if I do decide to go shopping with someone, I am going to try to make sure it is browsing... not shopping, unless I really NEED something. Anyone else got any tips to curb the shopping bug?

Something Worth Smiling About

It's about time for a positive note. As spring approaches, I can feel a sunnier look on life approaching too. As one of the Gilmore Girls (I love that show!) would say, "Sometimes a nervous breakdown will do wonders for a girl." I definitely believe this... I feel as though sometimes I can only see the hope and joy in life after I have a while where I can only see darkness. While I still have plenty of things to worry about... I am desperately trying to stop worrying. There really is only so much you can do. And once you've done all you can do, whether it is making a card and giving a hug or working proactively to solve a problem you have... after you've done the action, all you can do is keep giving and keep working and stop worrying.

Instead, I want to sit and think about all the things I am thankful for and the things that make my life great. I want to forget the things I dislike about myself or my life and work to change them.

I have a great boyfriend. Everyone says they have the best boyfriend in the world and frankly that gets annoying. :P I have the best boyfriend for ME. He accepts my flaws: how I get anxious or nervous for no reason and often at the drop of a hat, the times I let darkness overcome me, whatever else it may be. No one is perfect but we are perfect for each other. He loves me for who I am and I couldn't ask for anything better. 

I have a great family. Sure, I have a few kooks and some people I don't like too much. My dad and I argue like no other. My mom acts like a freak sometimes. But at the end of the day, I have grandparents that would do anything in the world for me, who send me cards just to let them know they are thinking about me, and who secretly tell me that I will always be their favorite granddaughter. I have some crazy cousins who I don't see as often as I would like but they mean the world to me and each special bond will never change. My dad and I argue, but I know how much he loves me and I know he just has a hard time showing it. From the time I was little, my mom has always been the one person I know I can count on and will always love me no matter how bad I screw up.

As many times as I joke about how I have no friends here and how all my friends are being eaten by the crazy "OMG I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" monster.... I have some great friends. I have a solid group of people I know would be there for me in a second. I have friends I can talk about anything with, no matter how awkward or embarrassing. I have friends that let me know they care. What else can I ask for really? Also I have those fun friends I feel are also essential. I might not want to tell them everything about myself or they might not be the most reliable... but hell, they are fun. We have fun together and I like them for who they are and they like me. 

School. Ugh, school. I still don't like it. I never will. But guess what? Pretty soon I am able to take those fun blow offs. Most of my friends don't have that luxury. While they slave away at accounting or whatever, I'll be taking drawing for non-majors and the history of rock music. Also, I gotta look at it like I only have about a year and a half left... I might as well make the most of it. Get it done and try to enjoy what I can. Also, I am thankful I have found my passion. Where it will lead me... I have no idea yet. The most annoying thing to me is when adults ask me what I am going to do after I graduate. I am going to start saying.. "I'm not a psychic, but thanks for asking me the most, basic, annoying question ever!" I don't know what I will do, but I can at least be grateful I know I wanna write.

For now I am glad I can look to the future and smile. I am definitely not advocating a optimism-all-the-time-glass-half-full attitude EVERY DAY. You need pessimistic days. That's real. Just don't make it a pessimistic week, month, year. Look at all you have in life. I guarantee there is something there worth smiling about. :)

Why Worry?

I now repeat this quote to myself several times a day:
"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength". 

I sometimes wonder if I am alone in this and then I realize I'm not. If I was, why would people write "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" books? 

I worry about my health if I hear someone else has gotten sick. I worry about a kid I knew years and years ago upon hearing he was in the hospital. I worry that a school friend will ruin all of his talents by picking up drugs again. I worry my life won't turn out the way I hope it will. I worry my boyfriend's family doesn't like me, even though I know they have for the past 8 months or so. I worry so much sometimes about every little thing it makes my head hurt.

How do I...how do we stop this? I realize how stupid it is. I realize there is a difference between caring for people and caring about things and worrying about them. Caring is great, but when it crosses the line over to worry, something should be done. 

I think college kids can be hit with this worry plague the worst. Many of us have jobs, classes, homework, social life, family life, and the list goes on. Our days become a list of things that have to get done and rarely do these lists include things we enjoy. Especially at this time of the year, when the cold traps us indoors. We suddenly have to do everything we normally do and try to avoid the cold weather and dreaded illnesses. 

So just now I decided to google "how to stop worrying". Over TWO MILLION hits came up.

Skimming a few websites and putting my own good mind to use I came up with a few things we can all do to stop worrying. 

When a worry comes into your head, write it down. Create a worry list...while this may seem strange, it will get the worry from your head onto a piece of paper. You can throw it out, save it, whatever...it just may help get rid of the thought.

Challenge your worry. Should you even be worrying about this? Yes, it is nice to worry about someone but is it really your problem? It might not be. If it is someone you care about in the hospital, visit them or send them a card and accept what happens, happens. If you develop an attitude that everything happens for a reason, you will start to see your worries as unnecessary. 

Develop the attitude to "be granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and to have the wisdom to know the difference..." If you are worrying about a bad job, try to find a new one. If you are worrying about a test, study more. If you are worrying about how someone feels and you've done all you can, accept that you can't change it and stop obsessing.

Do something to get your mind off things. Do whatever it takes...watch your favorite TV show that always make you laugh, run for a few miles, take a deep breath. Do whatever you can to rid yourself of that feeling and once you've found what works, stick with it.

"Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything."
-Mary Hemingway

Making Face Time

"Power down. Log off. Unplug. Have mercy on your thumbs.

Browse the World Wide Something Else. Send some not-so-instant-messages.

Undo. Hit cancel. Be together."

Dentyne might be on to something. Has anyone ever see these commercials? Urging us to "make face time"? While I question what that really has to do with gum is another story...but the message makes me think. 

I am so unbelievably guilty of this. Instead of making plans, my laziness kicks in and I find it easier to sit in front of my TV with my laptop adorned on my lap chatting away to three people at a time on AIM. While everyone knows this isn't all bad; Facebook, AIM, E-mail, Cell phones, make it easier than ever to stay in touch with those closest to you. And unfortunately we can't "make face time" with friends who are away at college 9 months out of the year...but we can make other steps. 

Our generation is as guilty of this as ever before. We are so used to computers and cell phones and TV and instant gratification that it has become a rarity that we hang out with someone and one of those is not involved. How often do we choose to chat with someone online instead of meeting them somewhere? 

To be honest, those Dentyne commercials made me feel horrible. I have always felt I am too wired, online too much, attached to my cell phone....but then I look around. I'm not the only one. 

So I challenge myself and I challenge you. To make tiny steps to become unplugged. Being Internet savvy will always be important but "making face time" will always be the best parts of life. Don't you agree?

Set aside certain times of the day to check your e-mail, browse Facebook, or chat on AIM. Set a time limit if you have to. 

Call someone and ask them to meet somewhere or do something that doesn't involve technology. While thinking of this one...most things in mind are $$$ involved. Meet for coffee. Take a class.. art, exercise, whatever. You get the idea. Low on cash? Go for a walk. Make your own smoothies. Write something silly together. Dance to your favorite song. The list can go on.

Forget sending your faraway friend an e-mail or Facebook message for a day. Send an old fashioned letter instead. Send them a care package...anything that CAN'T be sent over the World Wide Web.

Make a list of things to do when you're bored so you don't succumb to 3 hours of Facebook stalking. Work out. Do some extra homework. Do a Sudoku puzzle. Read a book. Stare out the window. Do whatever makes you happy that doesn't involve a keyboard or a reality show.

Make plans. Set aside one day a week that you spend with a certain friend. This will ensure you truly do "make face time". Maybe they can even be your accountability buddy for making sure you don't stay a slave to the laptop. 

This always makes me think of a good 'old JT song.

"Ayo, I'm tired of using technology. Why don't you sit down and talk with me?" :]

I'm Still Learning

Gossip needn't be false to be evil - there's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around. ~Frank A. Clark

So, I've always known I have a bit of a gossip problem. Now, no one freak out... if we are friends and I have promised to keep something important a secret, don't doubt my word. But for lots of trivial information about people.. I sure as hell pass it on. If you are one of my close friends... you may just hear the words, "I have some gossip for you!" out of my mouth frequently.

I am definitely not proud of all of it.

I have been feeling especially terrible about it lately. It was something Kevin told me.. God love him he keeps me in check... I can't remember the exact words, but it basically said in a nice way to "stop blabbing your mouth about it already". Which is exactly what I needed to hear. The moment I hear something juicy, all of my close friends know about it. Looking back, all the drama I have had in my life has either stemmed or gotten worse from my big mouth. My need to tell everyone I know about everything that is going on in my life seems to have gotten out of control. I know it is essentially human nature... because how boring would life be without any pointless drama and what would you talk about with your friends all the time? But when it comes to a certain point, I just realize I should learn to keep my mouth shut. 

While I know I will never stop gossiping completely... because let's face it. We all do it. We always will. But I am going to make a conscious effort to take it down a notch. I hope this note doesn't cause any of the people I care about to never tell me anything again, because I do keep secrets and I do treat the people I care about with the upmost respect. I'm just here to admit my slip-ups. I'm here to apologize to anyone who remembers a time where I told someone else something about them I shouldn't have or made drama worse because of something I said.

Another thing I have realized is that life is too short to be upset at someone for trivial things. Another thing I am not too proud of is that I can be very judgmental. I find myself having a very good head on my shoulders and when I think one of my friends does not have the same opinions toward something I feel very strongly about, it pisses me off. It shouldn't. Everyone has different opinions. Everyone lives their lives differently. Everyone has to make mistakes and what is a mistake to one person may not be to another. All you can do in life is accept people for who they are, help them to change IF THEY WANT THE HELP, and if they don't; leave it be and still love them. A lot of the times, I find I get angry at someone because I just care for them... but when does caring become smothering? Just because I care for someone and want the best for them doesn't mean I should try to control their life and disagree with the decisions they make that affects THEM... not necessarily ME. I know I just need to look at the bigger picture and figure out what affects me and what I have authority to actually be angry at. And then just let go of the other small stuff.

So okay, I have learned my strengths... I have learned my weaknesses. I am still learning. I just feel so blessed in my life to be still learning and to have people who love and accept me for just who I am. Because in this life, that's really all that matters.

Different Kinds of Love

I've been thinking a lot about different kinds of love. I've heard people talk about having a really passionate love and having a comfortable love. One of my professors said that she married her best friend and lived 20 years with him, until he found his passionate love and they got divorced....that they had only had a comfortable love. It kind of made me angry in a way. Why can't comfortable love carry you? In my experience, I have learned that passion often fades and what's deep inside you is what works. I love this quote I found randomly one day:

"I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you."

I forget who wrote it but I just found it so perfect. I think you know when you love someone when you learn all about each other even flaws and weaknesses and you still look at them with that sparkle in your eye. You still look at them as perfect even though you know they are imperfect. It's the person you know will always be there for you and that you can always trust. It's just a feeling I'm sure most of you can relate to in some way.

I strongly believe that people come into our lives for a reason. We have family who we know loves us no matter what we do... they have a kind of tie to us that cannot be broken no matter how much we may wish it to at times. No matter how many times you screw up, your mom still loves you because your hers. It's a different feeling when someone loves you even though they don't have to. 

I couldn't find an exact quote... but I was also thinking about a quote from the movie "The Last Kiss"... the mother describing how her daughter's boyfriend looked at her. "He just looked at her like he had to have her." I just really liked how that was described...the notion of looking at someone a certain way because you loved them. Or rather loving them because you look at them a certain way.

Okay I have no idea what this note started out as...but that's all I have to say. I am happy with my comfortable love with a bit of passion thrown in there. :)

Keeping that Strong Mentality

I have been thinking a lot lately about the pressures of college. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong there. It seems I have been pushed into a world where my naivety and innocence make me feel like an outsider. People I meet apologize to me if they swear and I feel as if people look at me as if I will never do anything in my life or something. While certain things it's true I will never do... other parts of growing up will happen for me. Just not right now. I am trying to learn that the standards I set for myself are the only things that matter and that I should surround myself with people who have the same understandings and standards as I do. I should also be around people who are different from me and not let what they do affect this amount of pressure I often put on myself. I guess because I skipped that peer pressure of High School it might be finally catching up to me... the worst part is, no one is really pressuring me to do anything. It's all me. Society teaches us sometimes if we don't wear the same clothes as everyone else, do the same things, and act the same way; we are different. And different means weird. Well I'm just here to say I accept the fact I'm weird, I do and learn things at my own pace, and no one is going to change my mind. I am so grateful for certain people (they know who they are I would guess) who help me to keep this strong feeling I am building. I love the people who understand me and help me to stay the person I pride myself to be. 

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."-Dr. Suess

"To be nobody-but-yourself -- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."-e.e. cummings

Real Beauty is Within

WATCH THESE:
http://www.dove.us/#/features/videos/default.aspx%5Bcp-documentid=7049578%5D/

We watched these videos in my Journalism Ethics class and discussed the ideas shown in those videos. It really made me think about beauty and what our world programs into us from an early age. We are taught from the media and our peers to think that our hair is only pretty if it is pin straight or perfectly done, we are only accepted if we are a size 2, and that as far as makeup goes.... the more the better. I especially liked the "Amy" video... which I know is true for myself as well as many girls out there. We dress up for boys and worry about every little thing about our appearance because surely if our boyfriends see us in our glasses or sweaty at the gym, they won't like us anymore. Is this the kind of world we want to live in? Ask these same boys we worry about and aside from the jerks out there, most will reply that we are beautiful no matter what and they like us for who we are and think we are gorgeous with or without makeup. Why is this idea so hard for girls and women to accept? The beauty industry has long trained us to deem ourselves unworthy unless we live up to the unrealistic perfect standards that God-knows who set up in the first place. I also know how girls can be, always judging others based on what they look like. I know I'm definitely guilty of this. I find myself thinking... "what the hell is she wearing?" or "wow that person is goofy looking" or whatever. We all do it whether we want to admit it or not. I'd like to sit here and tell you I am perfectly nice all the time, but it's a lie. No matter how much we change, everyone will always judge everyone else. It's time to make a conscience effort about it though. When you see someone dressed different, relish in it... don't make fun of it. As over-used as it is, beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. What one person thinks is beautiful, someone else may not. But this doesn't mean the person is ugly. Everyone is beautiful in their own unique way... the thing you hate about yourself may just be something someone else admires about you. So I challenge all you girls out there to shun the media, to turn away as a new "fat blaster medicine" or "beauty enhancing creme" comes on the market, and take a good look at yourself in the mirror. If you can stare and point out things you hate about yourself... STOP. Start counting the things you love. And as for judging, make an effort to decrease it. How boring would the world be if everyone was a stick-thin, 6 foot, blonde model? However, I'm not saying to run to your room and throw away all your lotions, potions, and makeup... just understand that it is not what defines you. Most girls love getting ready and looking pretty, just make sure you are doing it for yourself and that you are still beautiful in sweatpants and makeup-less. :)

Complainers Never Prosper

"If you don't like something change it. 
If you can't change it, change your attitude. 
Don't complain." 
-Maya Angelou

I read this quote and it reminded me a lot about myself. I know I have a habit of whining and complaining about anything and everything. I come home and complain about my classes and how boring they are without really giving them a chance. I complain about how much I hate my work but I haven't done a whole heck of a lot to find another one or try to fix anything at my job. When you really think of it, when you complain to someone it only makes them see you as an ungrateful person with a constant black cloud over their head. Would you rather be seen always drenched or shining brightly? And while sometimes I try to turn complaining into jokes which doesn't seem so bad.... only a few of those are necessary. Life brings all kinds of challenges but in my experience they only open your eyes to good things in your life or make you stronger. How boring would life be without drama filled weekends or classroom problems? Wouldn't you be bored to tears if everything in your life was always amazing? How would you ever change or grow into a better person? While something might seem like it is the end of the world and nothing can get better.... it will. Maybe you had to fail a test to make yourself realize how to study better or to meet a study partner that will soon become your treasured friend. Maybe people have to break up so their soul mates can come along. Maybe death of a loved one creeps in to make you thankful for all the wonderful people in your life still. We never really know. In my own life, I had to go through the death of an uncle, the controversial new marriage and birth of my cousin, and dealing with a not so nice new family member to receive two cousins that have changed my life. To me, it is the hardest thing in the world.... to see joy in sadness, beauty in pain, happiness in sorrow... but we all must try. When you are going through a hard time, dig deep to find out how you can grow from it and realize who are the people who help you through it and keep you sane. We all have those we love... be that person for someone as well. So as I challenge myself, I challenge all of you. Find something in your life you routinely complain or feel sad about, think of how you can change it or fix it and if you can't understand why it's there and how it will change you for the better. If everything still feels hopeless and without purpose, go hug someone who loves you and wants you to feel better, because I assure you... they are out there. :)

"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't noticing before."