Something Worth Smiling About

It's about time for a positive note. As spring approaches, I can feel a sunnier look on life approaching too. As one of the Gilmore Girls (I love that show!) would say, "Sometimes a nervous breakdown will do wonders for a girl." I definitely believe this... I feel as though sometimes I can only see the hope and joy in life after I have a while where I can only see darkness. While I still have plenty of things to worry about... I am desperately trying to stop worrying. There really is only so much you can do. And once you've done all you can do, whether it is making a card and giving a hug or working proactively to solve a problem you have... after you've done the action, all you can do is keep giving and keep working and stop worrying.

Instead, I want to sit and think about all the things I am thankful for and the things that make my life great. I want to forget the things I dislike about myself or my life and work to change them.

I have a great boyfriend. Everyone says they have the best boyfriend in the world and frankly that gets annoying. :P I have the best boyfriend for ME. He accepts my flaws: how I get anxious or nervous for no reason and often at the drop of a hat, the times I let darkness overcome me, whatever else it may be. No one is perfect but we are perfect for each other. He loves me for who I am and I couldn't ask for anything better. 

I have a great family. Sure, I have a few kooks and some people I don't like too much. My dad and I argue like no other. My mom acts like a freak sometimes. But at the end of the day, I have grandparents that would do anything in the world for me, who send me cards just to let them know they are thinking about me, and who secretly tell me that I will always be their favorite granddaughter. I have some crazy cousins who I don't see as often as I would like but they mean the world to me and each special bond will never change. My dad and I argue, but I know how much he loves me and I know he just has a hard time showing it. From the time I was little, my mom has always been the one person I know I can count on and will always love me no matter how bad I screw up.

As many times as I joke about how I have no friends here and how all my friends are being eaten by the crazy "OMG I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" monster.... I have some great friends. I have a solid group of people I know would be there for me in a second. I have friends I can talk about anything with, no matter how awkward or embarrassing. I have friends that let me know they care. What else can I ask for really? Also I have those fun friends I feel are also essential. I might not want to tell them everything about myself or they might not be the most reliable... but hell, they are fun. We have fun together and I like them for who they are and they like me. 

School. Ugh, school. I still don't like it. I never will. But guess what? Pretty soon I am able to take those fun blow offs. Most of my friends don't have that luxury. While they slave away at accounting or whatever, I'll be taking drawing for non-majors and the history of rock music. Also, I gotta look at it like I only have about a year and a half left... I might as well make the most of it. Get it done and try to enjoy what I can. Also, I am thankful I have found my passion. Where it will lead me... I have no idea yet. The most annoying thing to me is when adults ask me what I am going to do after I graduate. I am going to start saying.. "I'm not a psychic, but thanks for asking me the most, basic, annoying question ever!" I don't know what I will do, but I can at least be grateful I know I wanna write.

For now I am glad I can look to the future and smile. I am definitely not advocating a optimism-all-the-time-glass-half-full attitude EVERY DAY. You need pessimistic days. That's real. Just don't make it a pessimistic week, month, year. Look at all you have in life. I guarantee there is something there worth smiling about. :)