Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Misery Loves Company

It sure does. One thing I am starting to see is how pessimism breeds. If you want a sure-fire way to become the next "Debbie Downer" (Or Dennis Downer)... spend most of your time with someone who hates everything and complains constantly. You'll surely pick up on their negative traits. It makes me sad to see this actually happening in people's lives and how they hate the people who try to get them out of their induced funk. But it also reminds me about how important it is to surround yourself with positive people and to keep a good attitude with life.

Sidenote: can tell you how to do ANYTHING. It's crazy. And great.

Here's some tips on how to get some positive friends if you aren't blessed with them already.

This thought sometimes even boggles my mind: that we can control our thoughts into the positive or negative. I definitely don't do this enough. Whenever I feel slightly down or sick or whatever, I immediately think about... UGH, I hate this. This sucks. Whatever. Sometimes, though, shouldn't we all just take a step back and really think about whatever is going on? Say, you failed a test you studied really hard for. You could sulk, complain to everyone you know, cry, complain some more... but what will it get you? It's over. You studied and you can't change the past. You were meant to fail that test. No matter how much it sucks, aren't there people who fail the class? At least you did okay in the class. If you keep breaking it down and thinking about the positive... you'll feel better. Say, you're not feeling too good. Headache, anything. Instead of thinking you're going to die... think, it will pass. It always does, doesn't it?

If you choose to look at everything in life with a sour attitude, it will turn you sour. Take it from SNL, no one wants to be around "Debbie Downer". Maybe only "Negative Ned"... but maybe that's where the problem began. Surround yourself with negativity and things quickly go from bad to worse... everyday, all the time. Being around misery will never make you happy, no matter how much you seem to think it will or how much you love it.

This life is all about what you make of it and I would sure like it to be a happy one filled with loving, positive people. What about you?

Sunday, April 26, 2009

I Won't Tell No One Your Name

And don't it make you sad to know that life 
Is more than who we are 
You grew up way too fast 
And now there's nothing to believe 
And reruns all become our history 
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio 
And I won't tell no one your name 

That song is called "Name" by the Goo Goo Dolls. I have always found it beautiful, especially those few lines. It seems to be one of those things that are sad, but true.

And don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?

If you think about it, life really should be about who we are. Who we are = what we do, how we act, who we love, everything about us. But often, don't we find, that who we are simply isn't enough for people? Who we are can equal just about every facet of our life but society constantly wants to focus on who they think we should be. Instead of loving all those freckles, aren't we constantly bombarded with new make-up products that help us banish anything that makes us stand out? Us girls, we conceal, pluck, wax, paint, exfoliate, tan... just about every part of our bodies. Most all of us are guilty of it. I know I am. Why isn't it good enough to look the way we normally look without working so hard to look like everybody else? Not saying make-up isn't fun or that we should skip the showers and go grunge, but maybe next time we let the real us shine through. For the rest of us... don't we let the jobs we have, the hobbies we love, or the people we associate define us? Have we lost who we truly are? All of these things help make up our personalities... but when do we draw the line? Life shouldn't be about the money we make, the things we do, it should be about the people we are deep down underneath it all. 

You grew up way too fast 

Growing up way too fast. We all know a little something about that. On one hand, I look at all the kids I used to babysit and gasp at the fact some are approaching high school and some middle school... weren't they just little kids playing tag with me yesterday? Growing up too fast isn't just about how quickly time seems to fly. It is about us making ourselves grow up too fast. Remember being a kid and willing time to move faster... so it could be time to drive, wear makeup, date, have your curfew moved up, be an adult? I'm still considered a teenager but in a few months I can be considered an adult as well. Sometimes I still will myself to grow up, thinking of my life in the future and sometimes it scares me and I want to slow down. I take extra classes to graduate quicker yet think what am I going to do when I actually graduate?! We will eventually go through most of life's passages of time... isn't it about time to slow down and enjoy the age you are?

And now there's nothing to believe 
And reruns all become our history 
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio 
And I won't tell no one your name 

This song is actually pretty depressing even in it's simply beauty. Sometimes growing up too fast can lead people to find they have nothing to believe in. The shows we anticipate quickly become reruns. We can gauge time by the popular show of that year or decade. Songs play over and over until we clamp our ears when they blast through our radios. 

So what do you think about when you hear this song?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

"But my favorite show is on."

The Amazing Race.
The Hills.
America's Next Top Model.
Real World/The Duel, whichever is on at the time.

That would be a list of shows I have to watch each week at the moment and it generally changes when shows go on hiatus and come back... etc. But nonetheless, that is around the number of TV shows I watch, not to mention random television gems I tune into when I'm bored or just feel that need to turn it on. I have written a lot about Internet addiction and not much about television but I am starting to think it can be just as bad. I watch my dad pretty much constantly watch TV anytime he is home from work and not doing any outside work. Sadly, I think growing up in a household where we eat in front of the television and where television is our common interest in which to spend time together has caused a problem for me. It pretty much hit me last night when my boyfriend admitted that he "sometimes feels like I pay more attention to my TV shows than to him". I can't even begin to describe how bad I felt hearing that. And yet, I can't even being to dispute it.

I definitely feel right now a love/hate relationship with the TV and my favorite shows. So much hate for making me addicted to find out what happens next week and causing me to tune in, even when I should be spending time with the people I love. Hate because when I really look at it... how many hours of my life am I wasting? Is it really that terrible if I miss one week because I am off doing something better with my time? Do I really care what happens to these fictional or "reality" characters? With the Internet allowing you to watch pretty much any show online, anytime, with less commercials... shouldn't I just wait for a time when I have nothing better to do besides catch up on my favorite shows by myself? I think that sounds like the answer.

Yet, there is still some love. Sometimes TV does allow me to spend quality time with someone over a common interest. My mom loves "The Amazing Race" so I usually watch it with her on Sunday nights and it gives us something to talk and laugh about. I go to my neighbor's house to watch some Comedy Central to spend time with them as well and I love doing it. Plus, it is definitely a good relaxation method. Sometimes you just don't feel like doing anything other than chillin' on the couch watching one of your favorite shows. I think everyone needs that time every once in a while.

So, as summer quickly approaches I am very happy to have the chance to go outside and turn off my TV. I am accepting that missing my favorite shows is in fact, not the end of the world, and I am going to try much harder to start really living life. 

Monday, April 20, 2009

What You Feel Only Matters To You...

Sometimes I feel like everything in life comes down to this quote. Taken from the movie, "The Last Kiss"...

"What you feel only matters to you, it's what you do to the people you say you love."

To bring a little light into the quote, the context of this compared to the movie was that a guy almost in his 30's cheated on his pregnant girlfriend because he feared there would be no more surprises in his life. Okay... major, major, major screw-up, right? And I just love that quote that the father of the girlfriend tells this man, played by Zach Braff. 

"I just met this little Brunette and I faltered. Haven't you ever faltered?"
"No, I haven't. I haven't met my last little Brunette and neither have you."

But I am not going with the subject of cheating but the many connotations that this quote can have.

Isn't it true we are all humans filled with good and bad qualities? Our conscience and sub-conscience often causes us to screw up. Our anger causes us to say things we normally wouldn't. Our sadness and confusions causes us to push people away when we really need them to be closer. And can't this quote relate to just about any situation when it comes to hurting other people's feelings? One may feel let-down or confused with life, but that never merits cheating. You might be particularly angry about a bad test or presentation, but should you really yell at your mom for something miniscule? 

When making decisions that will affect the feelings of someone else, which is generally often when making any decision, I try to think of this quote. What I feel is what I feel, it is within me and will only be released if I let it. While it is never good to bottle things up inside or lie to someone, this can mean talking things out instead of doing something you may regret. Or even having a white lie that may save someone a lot of heartache. You just simply must grow and mature and know the difference between a big lie that needs to be shared and one that will only hurt someone if revealed and is not necessary to reveal. I'll end this post with the whole quote from the movie because it adds a little something extra. In the end of everything, it is not your words that can make or break a relationship, but the actions behind those words. Never forget that.

"Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. It still doesn't mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts." - The Last Kiss

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Can Technology Bring out the Worst in Us?

Photo copyright:

As much as I love technology, sometimes I hate what it brings out of us. Perhaps this is only true for young people, but computers and cell phones bring up a whole new world of immaturity and hate. Isn't it easier, using programs such as AIM and Facebook to brew up conflict and "yell" at someone? To say hurtful or shameful things than to show that emotion face to face or even using the telephone? Because even talking to someone and not seeing their face, you can hear their voice, hear their emotions... on the computer, it is basically lifeless. You don't see the person, you don't hear them, you only see their words. 

On the other hand, sometimes you can careful write out how you feel without jumping to irrational conclusions if you were face to face, but often would such problems even arise if you weren't hiding behind a computer interface?

My generation is a generation reliant on such technologies. As many times as Facebook annoys me, I can't get rid of it because it connects me to people I don't see often. As many "fights" that I have had on AIM instead of sorted out face to face, it makes me a little sick... but it also helps me stay in touch when I don't feel like chatting on the phone. Because let's face it, isn't it easier to talk about awkward topics or say exactly how you feel when you aren't staring the other person down? I feel as though myself and countless others are setting ourselves up to a world of not being able to deal with conflicts properly. Writing immature Facebook statuses instead of having the guts to talk to someone... is this what the world has come to?

I always wonder what we should do. How things would be different in my life without AIM and Facebook and etc. Some great things come out of these programs and some not so great. So what do we do? Take the good with the bad... learn as we go... I surely am out of ideas and certainly sick of "technology drama".

Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Beauty of Stars and Beyond

The stars. They are always there no matter what, even when you can't see them. Looking at them I can't help but feel that my problems are insignificant in comparison to the universe. I think about the beauty of such a small, sparkly thing that is so far away we can't even fathom it's real existence. How at that very moment, how many other people are looking at the same stars thinking the same thoughts? I don't know what it is about laying there, looking at the stars that causes such a wave of love to come over me.

What else do you think about when you think about stars? Making wishes? Haven't we all done that? Sent our most precious of wishes from our hearts to the universe above... Being a Christian myself, my thoughts often go to God when looking at the sky. I heard once that a particularly beautiful day is "God's painting" and I really believe that. Sometimes its just nice to look up at a potentially scary unknown, giant world and feel as if you already know someone there.

I apologize for anyone who doesn't want to read about faith because this entry has quickly somehow turned into a talk about religion. But anyways, I read this quote in "Eat, Pray, Love" the book I'm currently reading and my thoughts went to God. I thought it would fit in with what I am going with in this entry. (In the book, however, it was the author writing to herself, so this could be a good testimony to self-acceptance).

"I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it--I will love you through that, as well. If you don't need the medication, I will love you, too. There's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than depression and I am braver than loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."

While that quote does not affect me at the moment, I think everyone goes through moments of depression and loneliness or whatever it is. Sometimes it is just calming to know that God or yourself is there for you. Because other people will let you down at one point or another, so never forget who you can count on.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

What I'm Lovin' Today!

When the weather gets nice, one of the things I most want to do (besides bust out my flip flops and head to the park) is drive around with a friend, radio playing, windows down, sunglasses on to wherever the road takes us. 

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My Weakness is That I Care Too Much

"Scars" by Papa Roach [partial lyrics]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I feel this song almost perfectly describes situations as of late. I don't want to go into it at all, and yes everything is fine so no worries, but it helped me to write this blog entry. Some of the things I pride myself on about my personality can also be my greatest downfalls. Isn't that usually how it works? I try to be honest all the time, but sometimes being brutally honest causes bad feelings. I care so much about people that it causes me to try to help too much and it makes me lose friends. Isn't that ironic? Trying so hard to help someone can ultimately make them hate you? Looking back at my life, I see friends gained and friends lost... some for the better and some for the worse. I look at every fight I've ever had and I see myself apologizing, even when I don't believe it is truly my fault. I am not sitting here on a throne, claiming to be a saint, I admit to my faults and screw-ups and I take them in stride. I believe this post goes with my last: life goes on. Whatever happens, happens and I truly believe there is a reason in all of it. Life is constantly giving me reasons to be thankful for my true friends and my loving boyfriend, who listen to me vent and offer advice, who forgive me quickly and love me and my faults, and who see the caring person that is always there. While tears may fall due to the fact that a majority of my support system and the people I love most are away for most of the year, I find solace that I know they are only a phone call away and that they are always there for me, even hours away. So today I hold my head up high, confident in my heart and its good intentions even when others question my character. I smile because I think of all my friends and family and I send my love out to them. I sigh because I am still learning from my mistakes. And I laugh instead of cringe at any awkward situations that may come of the future. I am happy that I am still living and learning and loving.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Life Goes On.

I have found that everything you learn in life can be summed up in these three words: Life goes on.

While enjoying a perfect day, this is not exactly what you want to be thinking of... but whenever hard times arise it can the greatest phrase to consider. It is completely true, life does go on and time passes no matter what. While you may feel sad, hurt, rejected, sick or whatever right now... you can feel solace in the fact that in an hour, a day, a week, a month you will be feeling better. Happy times will come if you believe that they will be right around the corner. 

The pictures shown above contains perfect quotes for my thoughts today. I truly believe if you follow the advice in that colorful mess of fonts you will lead a happy and fruitful life. Believing it is the easy part however and actually doing these things are the hard parts. But taking one day at a time, living in the present, and remember during times you feel down that life goes on... happiness will surely ensue. 

What I'm Lovin' Today!

This song and how perfectly it fits with one of my previous blog entries.

Angela Predhomme is actually an old friend of my mom's family, my mom used to babysit her and her brothers and sisters! Crazy! But check this song out especially, it's really cute and I find it fits really well with my blog entry on dogs I wrote a few entries back.

Enjoy all the dog cuteness! ;)

Friday, April 10, 2009

Love or Obsession?

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a friend seems to drop me for a boy or even when she is still around sometimes but mostly just obsesses over the fact she has the best boyfriend ever. I think what hit the nail in the head for me was finding out about a friend I rarely see on account she is mainly with her boyfriend, that one of the rare occasions the two of us got to chill alone, she seemed rushed to leave after a while. I knew her parents were strict and she said she had to go home. Then I find out she scurried over to her boyfriend's. That doesn't make me feel very good at all. I have always been very proud of the fact I still work really hard to hang out with my boyfriend and friends separately and sometimes together. I don't think anyone can say I have ditched them to hang out with him and I am SO GLAD for that. No matter what kind of relationship you are in, I think the healthiest thing is to still keep a dose of your independence. That's what love is, caring for someone and still caring for yourself. If whoever you are dating wants to take away that independence from you, that is not love at all. 

I think the main thing is the difference between love and obsession. I really believe you can love someone and be caught up with obsession as well. I could be wrong and someone could disagree with this but here are a few things I came up with to explain the difference in my eyes between healthy love and love obsession. 

HEALTHY = A text or two during the day to see how the other's day is going. Or a phone call or IM at the end of the day.

OBSESSION = Constantly texting, IMing, talking on the phone. Like, if you spend every free second you have in a day to talk to that person, it seems a bit much.

HEALTHY = Being okay with a weekend spent apart. Sure, you'll miss each other but you look at it as a way to be with other friends or do something alone. I do believe absence in small doses makes the heart grow way fonder.

OBSESSION = Freaking out about any significant time spent apart. Finding ways so you don't have to be without your sweetie for more than a day, even if it means neglecting time spent alone with your friends.

There are tons more, I'm sure, but I found this article and I think it explains my thoughts exactly.

"Obsessive feelings are often mistaken for love because people rationalize that, “It must be love if I can’t think of anyone else.” Obsession is similar to lust but it is much more misleading and destructive. While lust is often fleeting, fading as two people come to know each other better, obsession sticks around once people have seen each other flaws and all. In fact, obsession can be made worse with time while lust always fades. Love can grow out of lust but obsession kills love every time. The more time and effort invested in an unhealthy obsession based relationship the more intense the obsession can become and the more damage is done. People in an obsessed state have a one-track mind where the other person is concerned to the point where they often lose touch with who they are as an individual. This loss of individuality creates a vicious circle of behavior where the obsessed person grows more and more dependant on the other person and on the relationship in general. Even so called unrequited love (love that is not returned) can become an overwhelming obsession. This is where obsession gets dangerous. When one person believes they are in a relationship that doesn’t truly exist, or when one person is more invested in an existing relationship than the other, the foundation for an obsession has been laid. So how do you recognize an obsession? There are signs. If all of your time and effort goes in to satisfying the needs of another or in chasing after another person then you are at risk of becoming obsessed. If one person is always trying to please the other person or if the relationship is without consideration and compromise then it could be based on obsessive feelings rather than real love. Real love is nurturing and helps people grow but obsession is debilitating and takes away from the psyche of the person caught up in it. If you feel like you have lost yourself, if you are always striving to please your partner without them doing the same for you, and if you find yourself making all your decisions in your life based on the feelings and needs of the other person you are obsessed and not in a real love relationship." [From]

I apologize if anyone reads this and it hurts their feelings. It was just something I have been dealing with a lot lately and I had to get it out somehow and my blog is the best way to do it.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

What I'm Lovin' Today!

This might be really nerdy of me. But I have finally gotten my online banking to work and I LOVE IT.

No more ATM trips constantly. Can I get a Hallelujah?

Not only that, but I can check the spending history and that will definitely help me spend less. 

Also, to help figure out how to do it... I IM'ed with someone at the bank, how cool is that? For a girl who hates doing those type of phone calls, it was great. 

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

In reply to my last post...

This got me thinking of all the nicknames my dog has received over the years from me and my father. Warning: we are weirdos but some might find these amusing. Perhaps you've heard them.

Hannah = 
Hannah Banana
Hannius Bananius
Silly Goose
Silly Banana
Hannie Bananie
Baby Dog/Baby Girl

I'm pretty sure the list goes on but that's all I could think of at the moment.

My dad and I also named some of her toys. Patti Platypus, Blackie, etc. I'm convinced I am the spawn of nutcases. Oh well. On another note, I decided I am the queen of BSing. 100% on a history paper which was a book review on a book I didn't read. Score!

Have a great day, faithful readers. ;)

Monday, April 6, 2009

A Girl's Best Friend

Maybe you're not as big of a dog person as I am, but I think dogs teach us every single important thing in life. Dogs, while they are not human, they can teach us how to be "good" humans. Good dog, good human. :)

First off, how many people do you know that greet you at the door, tail waging practically off their butt, grinning ear to ear if only they could... every time you come home?

No matter how many times you yell at them, "spank" 'em, forget to pet them, forget to walk them, anything... they still love you. They still come and lick your face when you cry, they still greet you at the door, they still protect you. They're your best friend no matter what. 

Dogs don't care what you look like, what kind of car you drive, how much money you make, who you love, what you do... they take you as you are. They love you and they never quit until their short live is gone. I imagine they love you long after that too.

I don't know about most dogs, but whispers of a walk, putting on a tennis shoe... this sends her into a wild frenzy. How many people get that excited to go outside and walk? Or do anything for that matter? Dogs accept that they can lay around all day and look forward to the little things: a table scrap, a long walk, a scratch under the ears. If only humans had that kind of joy and contentedness.

So take these lessons from your dog and dogs everywhere: love freely and always, forgive quickly, find joy in the little things, and live every second the way you want to, hopefully with a great companion by your side.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Ew, Writer's Block.

Writer's block is consuming me.

What's new with everybody?

My life = trying to rush the end of this semester, excited for some summer classes (2 credits to exercise? Yes!), spending times with those I love, hating my job, desperately hoping to find a new one, wondering what I am going to do with my life after I graduate... and realizing it will come sooner than I think. I need a game plan here people.

K, just tell me what's new with you. I'll be writing soon. (Hopefully).

Thursday, April 2, 2009

A New Goal Begins

Upon hearing that I didn't get the internship I applied for for the summer a few thoughts immediately rushed into my head.

Wow, a really generic rejection e-mail? Really?
My aunt works there... what a smack.
I was banking on making all that money for the summer to save up for the fall! What am I going to do now?

Thank God those feelings passed quickly. I am definitely glad to be feeling upbeat for the most part on this whole situation and I guess that tells me I didn't want it badly enough in the first place. I began thinking of more time spent with friends, summer classes to be taken, and just in general not working my butt off all summer. I am definitely not into working at Organize-It much longer (Sorry guys!) so I am going to start applying at places and this leads me to this entry.

I am officially starting my goal of only shopping for things I need and not buying things frivolously and managing my money better. It starts at a good time as my credit union is changing and I have to activate a new debit card tomorrow. New card, fresh start. 

To keep track, I'm gonna write on here all the things I spend. Having to write it all down for people to read will definitely help me. I still have to buy food and I definitely don't want to give up going to the movies with friends and what not... I still will have to buy certain things (shampoo, vitamins... you get the idea) but I will definitely try not to just go out and buy that new purse I am eyeing or anything like that.

Wish me luck! (And don't invite me to go shopping ;)