Recently, I was listening to a friend talk about how a guy screwed her over and we got into thinking about what she should do. All she wanted to do was to never talk to him again, even though they had been friends for years. Of course, another part of her wanted to patch things up, even if she had to be the one to step up and start the tough conversation.This got me thinking about relationships, specifically broken ones. People that I'm no longer friends with still get airtime in my head, especially when there was hurt involved. I often wonder if I should reconnect with them and talk about the conflicts that ruined our friendship and finally squash all of our differences once and for all. Perhaps we could be friends again! Yet then I think about all the reasons I no longer talk to them and think that it is better that they aren't in my life anymore.
So the question remains and I can't say I have any answers for it. Do you fix broken relationships or leave things be? Part of me would feel better with conflicts squashed and apologies flowing. Yet, then I wonder if things would be worse if someone was back into my life and that I should just let things be.
What do you think? I think we all have a few of these people in our lives that we consider talking to again, but don't know what to do...
I think it depends entirely on the situation.
ReplyDeleteFor example, after I started to drift apart from my group of friends I realized it was for the best and didn't try to patch things up. However, at the same as that I rekindled a friendship with my old best friend, and now we're as good as ever. It's hard to just say one thing versus another because so many things can change from person to person.
I had a friend where things got weird after I got into my relationship with my now husband. Even though she was my maid of honor at my wedding, we hardly ever talk since I got married almost 3 yrs ago. I feel bad because I have a lot of good memories with her, and though we talk once in a while now, things just don't seem the same. I'd like to be better friends with her, but since we live about an hour's drive away from each other...it's not easy to get together. Plus, she can't always restrain herself from making negative comments about my marriage. She doesn't get along with my husband, so things are always strained.
ReplyDeleteThere's a difference between patching things up and having closure. I am all for the closure. It tends to make whichever decision ok. I think it is the loose ends with these relationships that make them so hard. THat's what keeps them on your mind. Get rid of the loose ends and you'll feel better.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for the comments - great advice for everyone!
ReplyDelete