What I'm Lovin' Today!

When the weather gets nice, one of the things I most want to do (besides bust out my flip flops and head to the park) is drive around with a friend, radio playing, windows down, sunglasses on to wherever the road takes us. 

My Weakness is That I Care Too Much

"Scars" by Papa Roach [partial lyrics]

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
--
I feel this song almost perfectly describes situations as of late. I don't want to go into it at all, and yes everything is fine so no worries, but it helped me to write this blog entry. Some of the things I pride myself on about my personality can also be my greatest downfalls. Isn't that usually how it works? I try to be honest all the time, but sometimes being brutally honest causes bad feelings. I care so much about people that it causes me to try to help too much and it makes me lose friends. Isn't that ironic? Trying so hard to help someone can ultimately make them hate you? Looking back at my life, I see friends gained and friends lost... some for the better and some for the worse. I look at every fight I've ever had and I see myself apologizing, even when I don't believe it is truly my fault. I am not sitting here on a throne, claiming to be a saint, I admit to my faults and screw-ups and I take them in stride. I believe this post goes with my last: life goes on. Whatever happens, happens and I truly believe there is a reason in all of it. Life is constantly giving me reasons to be thankful for my true friends and my loving boyfriend, who listen to me vent and offer advice, who forgive me quickly and love me and my faults, and who see the caring person that is always there. While tears may fall due to the fact that a majority of my support system and the people I love most are away for most of the year, I find solace that I know they are only a phone call away and that they are always there for me, even hours away. So today I hold my head up high, confident in my heart and its good intentions even when others question my character. I smile because I think of all my friends and family and I send my love out to them. I sigh because I am still learning from my mistakes. And I laugh instead of cringe at any awkward situations that may come of the future. I am happy that I am still living and learning and loving.

Life Goes On.

I have found that everything you learn in life can be summed up in these three words: Life goes on.

While enjoying a perfect day, this is not exactly what you want to be thinking of... but whenever hard times arise it can the greatest phrase to consider. It is completely true, life does go on and time passes no matter what. While you may feel sad, hurt, rejected, sick or whatever right now... you can feel solace in the fact that in an hour, a day, a week, a month you will be feeling better. Happy times will come if you believe that they will be right around the corner. 

The pictures shown above contains perfect quotes for my thoughts today. I truly believe if you follow the advice in that colorful mess of fonts you will lead a happy and fruitful life. Believing it is the easy part however and actually doing these things are the hard parts. But taking one day at a time, living in the present, and remember during times you feel down that life goes on... happiness will surely ensue. 

What I'm Lovin' Today!

This song and how perfectly it fits with one of my previous blog entries.

Angela Predhomme is actually an old friend of my mom's family, my mom used to babysit her and her brothers and sisters! Crazy! But check this song out especially, it's really cute and I find it fits really well with my blog entry on dogs I wrote a few entries back.

Enjoy all the dog cuteness! ;)

Love or Obsession?

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a friend seems to drop me for a boy or even when she is still around sometimes but mostly just obsesses over the fact she has the best boyfriend ever. I think what hit the nail in the head for me was finding out about a friend I rarely see on account she is mainly with her boyfriend, that one of the rare occasions the two of us got to chill alone, she seemed rushed to leave after a while. I knew her parents were strict and she said she had to go home. Then I find out she scurried over to her boyfriend's. That doesn't make me feel very good at all. I have always been very proud of the fact I still work really hard to hang out with my boyfriend and friends separately and sometimes together. I don't think anyone can say I have ditched them to hang out with him and I am SO GLAD for that. No matter what kind of relationship you are in, I think the healthiest thing is to still keep a dose of your independence. That's what love is, caring for someone and still caring for yourself. If whoever you are dating wants to take away that independence from you, that is not love at all. 

I think the main thing is the difference between love and obsession. I really believe you can love someone and be caught up with obsession as well. I could be wrong and someone could disagree with this but here are a few things I came up with to explain the difference in my eyes between healthy love and love obsession. 

HEALTHY = A text or two during the day to see how the other's day is going. Or a phone call or IM at the end of the day.

OBSESSION = Constantly texting, IMing, talking on the phone. Like, if you spend every free second you have in a day to talk to that person, it seems a bit much.

HEALTHY = Being okay with a weekend spent apart. Sure, you'll miss each other but you look at it as a way to be with other friends or do something alone. I do believe absence in small doses makes the heart grow way fonder.

OBSESSION = Freaking out about any significant time spent apart. Finding ways so you don't have to be without your sweetie for more than a day, even if it means neglecting time spent alone with your friends.

There are tons more, I'm sure, but I found this article and I think it explains my thoughts exactly.

"Obsessive feelings are often mistaken for love because people rationalize that, “It must be love if I can’t think of anyone else.” Obsession is similar to lust but it is much more misleading and destructive. While lust is often fleeting, fading as two people come to know each other better, obsession sticks around once people have seen each other flaws and all. In fact, obsession can be made worse with time while lust always fades. Love can grow out of lust but obsession kills love every time. The more time and effort invested in an unhealthy obsession based relationship the more intense the obsession can become and the more damage is done. People in an obsessed state have a one-track mind where the other person is concerned to the point where they often lose touch with who they are as an individual. This loss of individuality creates a vicious circle of behavior where the obsessed person grows more and more dependant on the other person and on the relationship in general. Even so called unrequited love (love that is not returned) can become an overwhelming obsession. This is where obsession gets dangerous. When one person believes they are in a relationship that doesn’t truly exist, or when one person is more invested in an existing relationship than the other, the foundation for an obsession has been laid. So how do you recognize an obsession? There are signs. If all of your time and effort goes in to satisfying the needs of another or in chasing after another person then you are at risk of becoming obsessed. If one person is always trying to please the other person or if the relationship is without consideration and compromise then it could be based on obsessive feelings rather than real love. Real love is nurturing and helps people grow but obsession is debilitating and takes away from the psyche of the person caught up in it. If you feel like you have lost yourself, if you are always striving to please your partner without them doing the same for you, and if you find yourself making all your decisions in your life based on the feelings and needs of the other person you are obsessed and not in a real love relationship." [From About.com]

I apologize if anyone reads this and it hurts their feelings. It was just something I have been dealing with a lot lately and I had to get it out somehow and my blog is the best way to do it.

What I'm Lovin' Today!

This might be really nerdy of me. But I have finally gotten my online banking to work and I LOVE IT.

No more ATM trips constantly. Can I get a Hallelujah?

Not only that, but I can check the spending history and that will definitely help me spend less. 

Also, to help figure out how to do it... I IM'ed with someone at the bank, how cool is that? For a girl who hates doing those type of phone calls, it was great. 

In reply to my last post...

This got me thinking of all the nicknames my dog has received over the years from me and my father. Warning: we are weirdos but some might find these amusing. Perhaps you've heard them.

Hannah = 

Hannah Banana

Hannerpus

Hannius Bananius

Nut

Silly Goose

Silly Banana

Hannie Bananie

Baby Dog/Baby Girl

I'm pretty sure the list goes on but that's all I could think of at the moment.

My dad and I also named some of her toys. Patti Platypus, Blackie, etc. I'm convinced I am the spawn of nutcases. Oh well. On another note, I decided I am the queen of BSing. 100% on a history paper which was a book review on a book I didn't read. Score!

Have a great day, faithful readers. ;)

A Girl's Best Friend

Maybe you're not as big of a dog person as I am, but I think dogs teach us every single important thing in life. Dogs, while they are not human, they can teach us how to be "good" humans. Good dog, good human. :)

First off, how many people do you know that greet you at the door, tail waging practically off their butt, grinning ear to ear if only they could... every time you come home?

No matter how many times you yell at them, "spank" 'em, forget to pet them, forget to walk them, anything... they still love you. They still come and lick your face when you cry, they still greet you at the door, they still protect you. They're your best friend no matter what. 

Dogs don't care what you look like, what kind of car you drive, how much money you make, who you love, what you do... they take you as you are. They love you and they never quit until their short live is gone. I imagine they love you long after that too.

I don't know about most dogs, but whispers of a walk, putting on a tennis shoe... this sends her into a wild frenzy. How many people get that excited to go outside and walk? Or do anything for that matter? Dogs accept that they can lay around all day and look forward to the little things: a table scrap, a long walk, a scratch under the ears. If only humans had that kind of joy and contentedness.

So take these lessons from your dog and dogs everywhere: love freely and always, forgive quickly, find joy in the little things, and live every second the way you want to, hopefully with a great companion by your side.

Ew, Writer's Block.

Writer's block is consuming me.

What's new with everybody?

My life = trying to rush the end of this semester, excited for some summer classes (2 credits to exercise? Yes!), spending times with those I love, hating my job, desperately hoping to find a new one, wondering what I am going to do with my life after I graduate... and realizing it will come sooner than I think. I need a game plan here people.

K, just tell me what's new with you. I'll be writing soon. (Hopefully).

A New Goal Begins

Upon hearing that I didn't get the internship I applied for for the summer a few thoughts immediately rushed into my head.

Wow, a really generic rejection e-mail? Really?

My aunt works there... what a smack.

I was banking on making all that money for the summer to save up for the fall! What am I going to do now?

Thank God those feelings passed quickly. I am definitely glad to be feeling upbeat for the most part on this whole situation and I guess that tells me I didn't want it badly enough in the first place. I began thinking of more time spent with friends, summer classes to be taken, and just in general not working my butt off all summer. I am definitely not into working at Organize-It much longer (Sorry guys!) so I am going to start applying at places and this leads me to this entry.

I am officially starting my goal of only shopping for things I need and not buying things frivolously and managing my money better. It starts at a good time as my credit union is changing and I have to activate a new debit card tomorrow. New card, fresh start. 

To keep track, I'm gonna write on here all the things I spend. Having to write it all down for people to read will definitely help me. I still have to buy food and I definitely don't want to give up going to the movies with friends and what not... I still will have to buy certain things (shampoo, vitamins... you get the idea) but I will definitely try not to just go out and buy that new purse I am eyeing or anything like that.

Wish me luck! (And don't invite me to go shopping ;)