Losing Parts of Me

I thought this was kinda funny, but kinda relates... :P

I finally realized why it hurts so much to lose close friends. I feel like with each friendship faded, a part of me is lost. There's the friend that I could say anything with and acted like a total goofball and made jokes constantly. There's the friend that I always took care of and acted girly with. There's the friend that we had fun no matter where we went. There's the friend I could tell anything to and not be judged. With all these friendships either and others lost or fading or confusing...it feels like the part of me that was a certain way with that person is gone too. Not only am I losing out on old memories and friendships, I am losing parts of myself. That's why I think I feel so lost and bummed sometimes.

But even with these feelings, I am always on the quest to stay positive. Whenever I am bummin' and thinkin' about how I miss these friends, when I am asking myself what did I do wrong?, when I am wishing things were different...I train my brain to go to these next thoughts. I think about how I have a wonderful boyfriend, great family, and other good friends that I can call to talk with. I try to focus on how I am better off without toxic people in my life who bring me down or accuse me of things I didn't do. These people who don't appreciate me. Even though I miss them and wish things didn't work out this way...I'm sure they did for a reason. We weren't meant to be friends forever. So here's to being positive and focusing on people who care and working on being a good person...