Monday, June 7, 2010

Romantic Timeline

First of all, sorry about the lack of postings! Blogger has been down for me lately. :-/

I've always been a kind of person that looks at their life with a time line of romantic relationships. When I was in middle school and started liking boys, I spent many days daydreaming about my first kiss and my first boyfriend and who I would end up with. I'd sit in my bedroom listening to John Mayer looking at my awkward, geeky self and thinking it would never happen for me. Boys just didn't ever look at me that way. From middle school and on to high school, some boys would show interest and then split at the drop of a hat. I was always so insecure and thought that no one would ever love me the way I desperately wanted.

But eventually I wised up. I realized how clingy I had been. I realized how much I let low self-esteem rule my life. I wanted it too badly. High school years were spent improving my looks and improving my self-esteem. I finally had my first "real" boyfriend and my first kiss. I'll always remember those days. And now, approaching two years with my current boyfriend, I am so happy about the journey that led me to him. He is definitely my first love and I hope it will continue and last. I am just glad I can look back now on all my awkward years and be thankful I went through them and came back with confidence on the other side. Like the quote from Elliot from my favorite show "Scrubs", "How is it that no man understands that every woman, whether she's sixteen or sixty, still has that awkward, insecure, self-conscious teenage girl inside of her?" I do believe that. Every girl will always be insecure at some points in her life. I am just glad I am still learning about love and losing some of those insecurities.

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