Friday, May 1, 2009

The Key is Balance

You can't be happy with someone else, unless you are happy with yourself first.

This post was inspired by this advice I recently gave to a friend who said that she was having trouble being happy when she wasn't around her boyfriend and she felt she relied on him too much. I think this becomes true for a lot of relationships, particularly for young people. You find someone who loves you and doesn't have to... and you forget about the love you have for others or even yourself.

The key to all relationships, in my opinion, is balance. Balance is really the key to life. Too much work, too much play... can ruin you. You must balance yourself, others, and the things you do in life. Spending too much time with one person disrupts this balance. I strongly believe the most important thing in a relationship is to have time for that person, time for your friends/family away from the person and time where the two groups combine, and most importantly, time for yourself. If you disrupt this balance, chances are you'll feel the pain of it. You won't feel happy being alone, you won't enjoy your friends company, or you won't have time to miss your lover.

So if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, enjoy them. Set aside times for the two of you. Set aside times when they can hang with your friends and meet your family. Then, forget about them for a little bit... go shopping with your best friend or have a family BBQ where they aren't invited. You'll miss them, yes, and that is the key. If you are never apart, you never know how much you miss them when they're away and this can often decide how strong a relationship is. And lastly, set aside plenty of time to be alone. To think, to read, to relax and do whatever makes you happy. If you can't be happy when you are simply spending time with yourself... how can you expect yourself to be happy with others?

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