What If?

When I was a kid I remember asking "what if..." a million times until my mom finally said "what if you stop asking what if." Oops.

Now I still do the same, except it is all in my head. What if my life were like this or that? I don't really want to divulge into all the things I think "what if" about, but I wish I could stop sometimes.

Thinking "what if" definitely can help you move in the right direction in your life, but it can be very uncomfortable to think about. Often I wish these thoughts would just go away instead of stew in my head.

Does anyone do the same thing? What if I had saved more money? What if I never did that? What if I was doing something else?

Any tips on how to deal with this? I'd love to hear everyone's comments on this subject!

I Do My Best Thinking on a Bike

Long bike rides by myself with no music are when I tend to do my best thinking.

I've been thinking a lot about many different things. Over thinking in fact. Of course about my future. Luckily, I've decided a few things (for now).

I am going to enjoy this summer. I've been aching to do more outdoorsy and social things lately and I want to continue. I want to enjoy this beautiful weather that I've been wanting for so long before another dreaded winter comes.

For now, I am going to keep doing my small jobs. Sure, it is not a lot of money and I won't be able to save much. But in the fall, I will start a more ambitious job hunt. Lately, I had a lot of unsuccessful interviews and have been feeling panicked that I will be forced to take a job I hate that will leave me exhausted and with no time for anything I enjoy. So for now, I am going to enjoy these jobs that I love. In the fall, I will search for something full-time or even try to take some part-time job along with my freelancing so I can save more money. I will keep praying that something perfect for me will come along at the right time and try not to stress so much about it.

There are other things I've been contemplating lately and at times I kind of drive myself crazy with it the way I do thinking about jobs and money. But right now I have decided to stay in the present and enjoy what I have. To let things happen as they happen and not over think every little thing. I trust that God will show me the right paths to follow and that things will work out the way they are supposed to.

So here's my vow to myself and you are obliged to hold me to this! I will stop worrying so much, over thinking every thought and decision, stop listening to everyone tell me what they think I should do, follow my heart, and let God help me enjoy the present and follow the right future.

I feel so much better!