Let me tell you a few things about myself. I'm the type of person that wants to please everyone and never wants to have anyone dislike me or say anything bad about me. Yes, I know in life...this is impossible. It is a hard thing to learn and it is hard to deal with people sometimes.
The worst type of person to deal with is the "bully". I'm not just talking schoolyards, but bullies in life. The people that have to constantly bring others down to make themselves feel better and in control. The people that think nothing is ever good enough for them because they are the best. Don't you wish these kind of people would just go away? Or more positively, just learn to be kinder?
But as I get older, I have to learn over and over that you can't please everyone. Everything can't work out perfect. There will always be bullies in life that want to bring you down. All you can do is find ways to distance yourself from them or cut ties permanently. If this bully is someone you can't do this with, such as a family member, you have to learn to not take things so personally. This is something I struggle with too. I wear my heart on my sleeve and am very sensitive to harsh words. But as cheesy as it sounds, everyone and everything sent in your life is there for a reason. The reason may be to lead you to another option that works better for you, to teach you a lesson, or maybe even develop thicker skin.
So tell me, are you like me in any of these ways? How do you deal with bullies in life?
I have to deal with several bully types of people at work on daily basis and I am just like you - very sensitive and emotional towards negativity.
ReplyDeleteI've slowly learned to not let things get to my heart easily - I try to imagine a wall that shields me from negative people and remind myself that I have people who love and appreciate me. That's all that matters and it's their opinions and thoughts of me that count...
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Tamuna
I'm a lot like you actually, or at least I used to be... Always trying to please everyone else around me and kind of letting everyone walk all over me. Basically I was a doormat. And it was not fun. :P Now I've kind of changed though, and tried to distance myself from the kind of people that would take advantage of me.
ReplyDeleteTamuna - That's great advice about imagining a shield to protect you and thinking of your loved ones. It reminds me of that quote from Dr. Suess... "Those who matter don't mind and those who mind, don't matter."
ReplyDeleteNatalie - I hope I am not a doormat, at least I don't think I am. That's good that you're not letting anyone take advantage of you. It is always good to distance ourselves from people we know aren't good for us.
i had to end a friendship last year with a girl who was quite a bully. we'd been friends since high school, and it was a really hard relationship to end. especially because i think she didn't realize the extent to which she was trying to control other people's lives and the mean ways she would speak to people in order to get her way. but she wouldn't recognize it, and she wouldn't change, so i had to say "goodbye." and although it was hard, in the end it was worth it.
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