Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Advice from "Real Housewives of NYC" Kelly!

The only "Real Housewives" show I've gotten into was the New York version. My friend got me hooked on the show and while at times I find it a little annoying with the constant drama, it is very entertaining. The last season I watched I wasn't sure what to think of Kelly Killoren Bensimon. Bethenny was one of my favorites and the two often feuded. However, this past season, Kelly seemed much more balanced, fun, and quick to share good advice. I've been reading her blog and Twitter posts and I absolutely loved this post on relationships. Enjoy!

Courtesy of Kelly's Blog:

"My mantra for this season was that “every relationship needs boundaries“. While watching the The Real Housewives of New York reunion, the reason everyone is so taken back by the special is because of the lack of boundaries and the way life is percieved by delusion by some of the women on the show. Everyone on and off tv has their own storyline.

I’ve learned a lot though my mistakes and by the mistakes of others. Here are a few rules that got me through filming and will be my manifesto with the man I love and my close personal friendships.

Relationship Rules :

1. Be honest to yourself. If you are honest, than no one has ever any reason to doubt you. this doesn’t mean you need to constantly tell people what you think of them, but always be honest with yourself, and in turn you will earn trust from others

2. Walk in other peoples shoes. Its easier when you recognize where people are coming from than just make judgements. name calling and judgments are for childlike behaviors, whereas recognizing flaws and being open to possibilities are adult behaviors.

3. Right place right time. Save conversations that could get heated and go sour fast for a time when both parties are well rested, have eaten, and relaxed.

4. Dont fight to fight, fight to resolve. Every problem has a solution

5. Create boundaries for yourself. don’t engage those who are pushing buttons. Disengage, walk away, change the subject, or compliment-most people are so vain and a compliment is a great diffuser

6. Smile as much as you can. Life is short, and a smile goes a long way. Its the universal language for “its ok, lets have fun.”

7. Forgive but dont forget. The past is a foreshadowing of the future, but you can also change the way you respond to the past.

8. Listen to what others are saying, not what you THINK they are saying

9. Dont compare and contrast exs with the ones you love. It hurts. Period

10. Dont kitchen sink your life to a partner, or kitchen sink an argument. What is the core to the problem? stay clear and tackle one issue at a time

11. Dont air dirty laundry in front of friends and family. Everyone has relationship issues and no one wants to get involved especially at a dinner table.

12. Have a code word for “don’t start this now.” I like the word lemon.

13. Do unto yourself and you want those to do unto you. Its a two way street. Be careful for it hurts just as much if you don’t call him, as him not calling you.

14. Dont draw lines in the sand, for you may be left at the beach. Lots of people welcome that challenge, and others take it as an easy out.

15. Everyday is a new day. Make sure you partner is a part of it."

This post was written by Kelly Killoren Bensimon - I didn't change anything.

What do you think? Do you agree with her rules?

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