Life Gives Us Every Teacher

"Life always gives us exactly the teacher we need at every moment. This includes every mosquito, every misfortune, every red light, every traffic jam, every obnoxious boss (or employee), every illness, every loss, every moment of joy or depression, every addiction, every piece of garbage, every breath."
~ Charlotte Joko Beck via Echoes of Love 

I found this quote the other day from the Facebook page of a wonderful lady, Brenda Strausz. She often posts wonderful quotes and this one really struck with me. 

Often when a friend ignores me, I take a bad job, I'm stuck in a traffic jam when all I want to do is get home, or anything causes a sour mood; I am just plain aggravated. Why is this happening to me?

At times after a tragedy, when we've mourned or gotten angry and depressed, we can go back to see what the meaning was. We can understand why this had to happen in order to bring about something better. Sometimes we never understand. We may never understand the tragedies or just plain bad days we often encounter. But we can accept these days. We can accept that every mean boss, death of a loved one, cold, or mosquito bite is our teacher at that time. It teaches us to get what we really want, slow down and enjoy life, take better care of ourselves, or simply remember that darn bug spray. 

So next time you come across a situation where you want to give up and scream "Why me?", stop for a moment. Try to find the lesson or the reason. Some days you just have to accept that you don't know and that is okay. You'll get through it just fine, I promise.

Losing Parts of Me

I thought this was kinda funny, but kinda relates... :P

I finally realized why it hurts so much to lose close friends. I feel like with each friendship faded, a part of me is lost. There's the friend that I could say anything with and acted like a total goofball and made jokes constantly. There's the friend that I always took care of and acted girly with. There's the friend that we had fun no matter where we went. There's the friend I could tell anything to and not be judged. With all these friendships either and others lost or fading or confusing...it feels like the part of me that was a certain way with that person is gone too. Not only am I losing out on old memories and friendships, I am losing parts of myself. That's why I think I feel so lost and bummed sometimes.

But even with these feelings, I am always on the quest to stay positive. Whenever I am bummin' and thinkin' about how I miss these friends, when I am asking myself what did I do wrong?, when I am wishing things were different...I train my brain to go to these next thoughts. I think about how I have a wonderful boyfriend, great family, and other good friends that I can call to talk with. I try to focus on how I am better off without toxic people in my life who bring me down or accuse me of things I didn't do. These people who don't appreciate me. Even though I miss them and wish things didn't work out this way...I'm sure they did for a reason. We weren't meant to be friends forever. So here's to being positive and focusing on people who care and working on being a good person...

The Good and the Bad

I've come to realize every day will probably have good and bad in it. It is okay as long as you learn to balance things out, overlook the bad when you can, and perhaps just be sad for a little while if you need to.

Good: Yesterday I got to spend the evening with my lovely boyfriend of 2 years.
Bad: Yesterday I found out my great aunt died of cancer.

Good: In exactly one week it is my 21st birthday! And I won't work as much next week.
Bad: A week can feel like a long time...and now I have to go to a funeral soon. Funerals and hospitals are my worst nightmares.

Well, I'm going to keep busy so I won't feel as sad. I hope everyone is going to have a wonderful and happy weekend!

Having a Down Day.

Do you ever just get the feeling that your life is full of obligations and you spend the majority of your days counting down the hours, wanting to be somewhere else?

I've found myself doing so lately.

Being a college student, I have a job that doesn't really interest me but just generally pays the bills and also babysits on the side. And yes, being a college student that means class. While I haven't started yet (due to teacher strikes, yikes!) I am already stressed out thinking about it. I have never liked school from Kindergarten onward. I still hate it. I know, I know... I should be excited to learn and grow but I am definitely not excited about taking classes that are required and spending money to sit in class and listen to a teacher drone on about things I care very little about.

And yes, by the time I am excited to be off work, done with babysitting, and have a break from class and homework... I am simply too tired. I still see my friends and family, but it is strained. More than a few times, instead of spending quality time with my boyfriend, I fall asleep. Instead of going out with friends, I have to go to bed early instead.

I wish I could fix this. I wish I could just learn to be more optimistic and enjoy my free time as well as my obligations, but it is constantly a struggle for me. Some days are okay, some are great, some are just plain annoying. So today, I apologize, it is a day I just need to complain. And only hope that my future is bright with a job I enjoy and more time to be happy with how my time is spent.

Forgiveness is for the Strong

Ghandi once said "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong." Isn't that true? Isn't it much easier to fight and scream and hold a grudge? When someone hurts your feelings, at first, it makes you much happier to say mean things behind their back and to say they don't deserve your forgiveness. Perhaps they don't. Forgiveness isn't just about the other person though, it is mostly about yourself.

When you forgive someone, regardless if they apologize or if they even are sorry, you are acknowledging to yourself that you are strong. You are going to let whatever that person said or did to you roll of your back. You acknowledge that they are human and make mistakes and so do you. Forgiveness allows you to tell yourself that no one can make or break you.

After the happiness fades of holding that grudge, all you'll be left with are feelings of sadness over a lost friend or jealousy or anger. You'll feel bound to that person and only with these words: I forgive you, will you set those feelings free. You don't even have to say it to the person, you just have to mean them when you say them in your mind.

So forgive. You'll feel lighter and happier in the long run. I'll leave you with a quote from the Bible for those religious...

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

-Matthew 6:14,1