Here's to a new focus!

I did it again. I think we all do from time to time. But I am slowly submerging from falling into self-pity and forgetting better priorities. I got so lost in feeling like I had no friends and getting upset over friends blowing me off and feeling like everyone was too busy for me.

So here's to simply not caring as much.

Here's to focusing on people who show me that they love me: my boyfriend, my parents, etc.

Here's to working on me and becoming the woman I know I can be.

Here's to focusing on school work.

Here's to making new friends who appreciate me.

Tomorrow I am off to run some errands and see my neighbors. They are 12-year-old twin boys who are like my brothers. They make me smile and I can't wait to hang out with them. Then I'll hang with my parents for the second night in a row. I don't care who thinks that is lame, but not being at home has made me enjoy hanging out with them when I come over.

Also, I wanted to thank my blogger friends. Even though we can't hang out face-to-face, I still feel like you are my friends. Through your kind words and from reading your lovely blogs, I feel somewhat connected to you all. :)

It should be easy

My opinion on relationship is this: when it is right, it should be easy. Not saying there won't be occasional arguments or miscommunication, but most of the time it should just feel right. Not too much effort for either person, not boredom, not feeling restless simply laying together watching TV. Simple, easy, right. That's what it should feel like.

An Ugly Monster of Boredom, Loneliness and Anxiety

Hmmm...is this semester over yet? I'm having a really hard time adjusting. You see, last semester I was a busy, busy bee. Sometimes I didn't mind it and it kept me doing things, but sometimes I hated it when I had no free time to just chill out and relax or see my family and friends. This semester is a different story.

Seeing as last semester I barely had any free time, this time I decided to not work as much to focus on classes and have tons of time to hang with my boy and family. Well, when the people I want to see are all busy + all my homework is done + it is too gloomy and cold outside to do anything = boredom and loneliness galore!

Being lonely is the worst feeling in the world. It eats me alive. I love having time to myself...for a few hours. Then once a few hours passes and everyone is busy and there's nothing to do...a harmless case of boredom turns itself into the ugly monster of lonelyanxiety. I had to drive home today to see my parents just because I couldn't take it anymore. This isn't a part of myself I like. I don't like crying and having my stomach form into knots simply because I can't let my mind get too bored.

Anyone else have problems like this? Any suggestions for when I have nothing to do and on top of that I'm feeling lazy? Thanks guys. :)

Winter Blues Turned Upside-Down

Lately I've noticed myself being gloomy with more and more gloomy days and constantly thinking about spring and warmth and being outside! So, with a few more months of winter, I thought I'd make a list of things I like about winter to keep my (and hopefully your) spirits up!

1. Sledding is still amazingly fun! So is ice skating. :)

2. Us girls simply don't have to shave our legs as often and that is pretty nice sometimes...hehe..

3. Cold weather = perfect cuddle weather

4. Cute accessories...gloves, hats, scarves, boots...

5. While snow is horrible to drive in and sometimes a mess...you can't deny, it is very pretty!

The winner of the contest!

And the winner is.....

Sonia from Random Thoughts! Please e-mail me at lrstewar @ gmail.com so we can get rolling on your prize. :)

Thanks everyone for entering! I'd love some feedback...did everyone like the idea of the contest? Like the prize? Anything I could do differently next time to get more people to enter? Any opinion is appreciated so I can keep my blog growing and keep my readers happy. :)

Quick Reminder!

The contest closes on Saturday morning! I've gotten some good responses but no actual way to tell if anyone is doing it, be sure to read over the instructions so you can win a cute, customized bag! :)

"We were always much more human than we wished to be"

A friend of mine had this quote from a song as his Facebook status one day and it really stuck with me. It is a simple statement, but can be thought of in many different ways. I thought of it as emotions.

Humans are the one thing on Earth that can actively and legitimately feel. But we push it aside and act passive and think it is a safer way to be. We wish to be less human in a sense, to need others less, to feel less...but why? Because you look cooler? Or stronger? We're all strong; we're all weak, each in different ways. Maybe we need to stop acting cooler and stronger and allow ourselves to be what we are and feel what we feel. Then we can actively move on to better feelings. So don't forget, we're all human...don't wish to be anything else.

P.S. On a side note, I finally went to yoga yesterday and I got apartment management to write a letter to my noisy neighbors telling them to be quieter! :)


Don't forget about my first contest ever! Ends on Saturday, so you have 4 more days! :)

Us Girls all Need a Girl Best Friend

I must confess I have been feeling really down lately and on my drive home from my parent's house, I realized why. I don't really have a girl best friend right now. My boy is my best friend, but that is really not the same as a girl best friend. He's in for a little gossiping, but it isn't the same. I can't go shopping with him and I feel bad making him watch super girly movies and things like that. I also consider my mom a friend, but it really isn't the same as someone my own age. She's a best friend, but she's still my mom.

This has been a problem for me since college started really. My very best friend who I've been friends with for years moved in high school and we still keep in touch, but she's not here. Same goes with all my best friends from high school who went away to school. I still talk to them and hang out with them while they're here, but the feeling of not being needed anymore grows increasingly with every visit. We are all busy so the phone calls and texts and Facebook comments are less and less. When time finally comes for vacations, I see them once or twice and have a great time, but realize that they seem to be much more involved in their school lives that don't include me.

Even the few friends I have around here at school are busy. I definitely understand because I know I'm busy too. But hanging out becomes plans weeks in advance for an hour lunch and then we don't see each other for months because of bad timing. These days, I don't even see my roomie very much. Our schedules clash, she's leaving as I'm coming, and sometimes I don't even think she wants to hang out anymore.

I guess it has just becoming increasingly clear I desperately want a girl best friend and don't have one. I love the friends I have, don't get me wrong! I have best friends, but the distance and schedules make it tough. I wish someone was here close to me, who had time for me, who I could talk to about anything. It is just a bad feeling when it feels like it is something that can't really be fixed.

Quick Contest Note

I'm extending the contest until next Saturday! Go here to read the rules and start. Good luck everyone and thank you so much! :)

You can win this in any design you choose from Elemental Threads!

Book Review: "The Real Me: Awakening Your True Self"

If you’re looking for spiritual guidance, a way to be happy being you, and a better life in the New Year, look no further. Sandra Agazzi Chimenti has the answers you’ve been searching for. Chimenti, a former teacher, now works hard at her own publishing company and helping others empower themselves with her book. “The Real Me: Awakening Your True Self” is more than a book; it is a journey you make with yourself. Featuring the “Seven Aspects of Spiritual Awakening”, which are divine creation, communication, apology and forgiveness, gratitude and praise, loving choices, flowing in life, and sharing gifts and talents, lead you with positive affirmations and beautiful quotes.

The book provides an overview on Chimenti’s teaching methods based on allowing yourself to feel your emotions fully before you can truly move on and actively seek happiness and peace within yourself. After an explanation of the “Seven Aspects of Spiritual Awakening” you are given positive statements and affirmations for each aspect. Some are short, others longer, but all are uplifting messages designed to empower you. What is truly great about this book though, is the way you are actively involved in it. You are not simply the reader; you are the writer as well. As you read on, there are pages for you to write your own positive affirmations as they come to you and exercises such as “Mirror, Mirror” and “Release Strife, Enjoy Life”. These exercises are part of the “awakening process” and allow you to write down your experiences and fill out surveys designed to break through the barriers we put up when we try to ignore our bad emotions. By doing so, Chimenti says, you allow yourself to get rid of these feelings and make room for the new peace you’ll find within yourself. Also included are pages and pages of resources for specific issues, a gratitude journal, Chimenti’s original poems and songs, and meditations to try.

This book is definitely different from most books I’ve read, as it is more of a self-help book. But upon going through it, it taught me to trust myself and be positive. As a child, I was definitely that girl in class that always cried over nothing and as I’ve gotten older realized I have issues with anxiety. I always tried to ignore these facts and stemming from crying a lot as a child, I try to hold in the tears now and act as if everything is okay. I hold things in until I explode, basically. Chimenti’s book taught me that you can’t do so to be a happy and empowered person. You have to get through the bad emotions and learn where they come from to get rid of them. While I know I am nowhere near the “Real Me” as the book describes, I am happy to have this book to continue to look at and learn from. The positive affirmations are ones that I can look at if I’m having a tough day. This book may be tough to understand if you are not spiritual at all, as God is often talked about, but the great thing is no matter what your religion or if you are religious at all, you can use God as any God. All in all, a great read for those actively seeking a better self.

Visit her website for more information on her book, her empowerment presentations, and more.